all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant
when someone changes the topic in a conversation and you had something interesting to say
(Source: misplacedmartian)
today my friend told me tom cruises front tooth is in the middle of his face and i didnt believe him but
“i dont feel well”
“thats because you stay up too late”
i have never seen a more accurate description of my life
(Source: calibornumbra)
my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks suPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen
update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, “i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY”
